If they just made carbon fiber zip ties 

Back in high School a Buddy and me were installing a Bazooka tube in his 93 Mustang LX and the tube came with the straps and stuff to hold it down.  Well, we installed it and it sounded great!  Come to find out about a month later he got a flat tire, went to get the spare out and we had put 2 scres in his New Spare!  LOL

My MAP sensor is secured to the intake plenum with zip ties....everyone know that when a screw falls, it rolls into oblivion.

I have engineered some crazy crap in my days too. In college, I had a lawnmower that would not stay running. I took and old sock and stuffed it in the air intake. Then I kept hosing it down with starting fluid, and she ran like a champ  . The damn thing also didnt have a cut-off switch for the motor, so I had to grab the spark plug wire and jerk it off the plug. NOT FUN!. After using the sock, all i had to do was yank the "starting sock" out of the intake.

I was trying to find a way to mount a can of ether to the mower frame (on the push handles) so I wouldnt have to stop mowing and spray the fluid. I had an idea, but the mower finally died. 

I also used an old soup can to repair the tail pipe on my first car in high school (1984 Nissan/Datusn Sentra).