ok, so after things reach operating temperatures the transmission stops responding.  It drops out of gear completely, not into limp mode.  The transmission stops responding to anything.  The gear selector does nothing, nor does the idle change.  The CEL comes on, code 45 "Internal EATX error code present".  It drives a short distance, but starts acting up after it warms up.  I can d/c the battery and clear the code and it works just fine until warmed up again.
I'm pretty sure its electrical or hydraulic, not mechanical, since it starts out working.  I haven't tried this yet, but I'm told that if you just let the engine sit and warm up the transmission does not even need to be driven in order for this to happen, thats why I would guess hydraulic.

Any ideas?

your regular OBD-II scanner should get it, right?

Problem solved.  Transmission fluid level was WAY WAY WAY to high.  I mean bad.  It was my own fault, but you would have though that during the 4 weeks a car was in the repair guys parking lot he would have checked that.  Guess not.